5 gifts that 2020 delivered

Whether we ask for it or not, disruption, loss and pain almost always force self examination and reflection. When nothing is as it used to be or as we want it to be, we have no choice but to look more closely as how we have been living our lives and why this new way is so unsettling. We can’t help but find a deeper appreciation for the things we took for granted. And we find ourselves growing in ways that we may never have imagined–not because we wanted to but because we had no choice.

Sometimes we get gifts we didn’t ask for, gifts we didn’t think we wanted or needeed. And sometimes we end up wondering how we ever lived without them. 2020 brought pain and loss and isolation but as I went through my 2020 photos to put together my annual family slideshow and album, there was no denying that it also brought much more.

1. More time outside I I thought that we spent a good amount of time outdoors but 2020 took it to new levels and removed the barriers we would have been constrained by. In 2020, a nice day was defined as pretty much any day when it wasn’t hailing. Just being outside was welcomed and we took more long walks, hikes and spent more time in our own yard and exploring places that we’d never even heard of than we ever had before.

2. Sincere gratitude for the everyday, mundane parts of our lives

As 2020 rolled along, every day seemed to remind us of things that we couldn’t do anymore, places we couldn’t go and the little interactions that we missed. As someone who happily works for myself and spends a lot of time on my own, I didn’t necessarily think that I would mind being hunkered down at home. It’s not as if I am used to a busy, social office environment or tons of small talk with people all day. But I quickly realized that whether it was my in-person yoga classes, interactions at a coffee shop or just seeing familiar people out and about while on my daily runs, those connections matter.

Going to restaurants or a movie with my family are never the things that we think of as major events but when you take all of those indirectly social experiences away, it’s like the color in a photo was taken away. Things like our annual Cape vacation and the kids playing on sports teams have always been fun but this year, they were lifelines.

Will we take all of this for granted again in a year? Possibly….probably. But for now anyway, we are acutely aware of how much the little moments shared with others and all of the routine things we do really matter.

3. A dog…..and a trampoline!

A dog was something we talked about as a “maybe someday”. Mike never grew up with pets but he had adapted easily to life with cats. The extra responsibility of a dog was not appealing to him though and made me a little nervous too. We have older kids who sleep in and the last thing I wanted was to be getting up at 5 AM for a dog or unable to take spontaneous day trips or overnights trips because of a dog. We were in agreement, no puppies! Well, so much for that plan! We brought home a 9 week old golden retriever in late October and joined the Pandemic Puppy club. Turns out he sleeps like a champ and has been a pretty awesome addition to our crew.

As for that trampline, it was previously a “No way” but by April it was a “Why not?!” and it’s been a godsend for the last 10+ months. Were it not for this bizarre situation we are in, I’m not sure when or if either of these things would have happened but 2020 made lots of people take unexpected leaps.

4. Hope

The year was dark in so many ways but there was also hope. Standing side by side with hundreds of people in June at a gathering to support George Floyd, it was palpable and in November, it was undeniable. The nation is far from “fixed” but the unrest this year ignited change and the end of the Trump years may be the best gift of all that 2020 brought us.

5. Time

If you are a gushy sentimental parent like I am, you are always longing for more time and cursing the pace at which it flies by. Well, be careful what you wish for, right? Maybe this year gave you more time together with your family than you ever wanted and surely, it wasn’t all the magical sort of time you may have been envisioning.

Still, I found myself thinking that there will likely never again be a time in their lives where they are together this much. They were 7 and 10 when this started and are now 8 and 11. They are no longer in the same school and will only experience that for one more year when Zoe is a senior in high school. We are lucky in that they were aleady pretty tight but this last year brought them closer than ever in ways that no other experience we could have created ever would have.

For so much of this last year, we only had each other and we all leaned into it pretty hard. We didn’t ask for it, we didn’t want it and we deeply grieve the experience and moments that we lost but we can feel all of that and simultaneously feel gratitude for the parts of 2020 that changed us for the better.

At the end of each year, I put together a collection of our photos and video clips to make a slideshow for the year. When we view the final product from our couch on the TV, it always feels like a trip we are taking through the last year and this year in particular was bittersweet. This is our 2020.